One of my former students wrote this about some recent celebrity news in a Facebook status:
Oh I'm sorry, you were completely mistaken when you assumed I gave any fucks about Kim and Kanye's baby
Some of the comments left in the thread discussed what the
issue of a Kardashian/West coupling might actually look like. Some of the other comments mentioned
West’s poor rap stylings.
I pretty much feel the same way about any celebrity
news. Our nation has become
obsessed with the lives of people we will never meet let alone get to know as
friends or neighbors. Read any of
the grocery store tabloids. Watch
any of the half-hour “entertainment news” shows after the evening news. Someone is pregnant again, even though
she’s not married, and nobody knows who she’s been seeing lately. Someone else has been arrested on the
latest of a bazillion drunk driving incidents. Two people are getting married after they’ve been dating for
about two weeks. Two other people
are getting divorced after being married for only four months.
Is it any wonder that teenage unwed mothers are more common
in schools? Or that the national
divorce rate is 40-50 percent? We
spend far too much time watching and reading stories about who’s pregnant and
who’s breaking up. Granted there
are not that many entertainment couples who are still on their first marriage and
have been together for a long time, but when they come along maybe the tabloid
and fake news shows should be spending time celebrating the milestones in their lives such as births and anniversaries. They should certainly spend less time covering human failures.
***
And what’s the deal with the American fascination with British royalty? We kicked King George’s ass over two hundred years ago. Some paparazzi takes a picture of Kate Middleton sunbathing topless and it takes up half of a nightly news broadcast.
All right. Prince William’s wife is a babe, and any teenage boy would drool over her as much as they once drooled over the old Farrah Fawcett posters. They'd hide the digital copies on a thumb drive so their moms won't find them, or print them out and stick them under their mattress with their copies of Penthouse and Playboy. And any red blooded American man wouldn’t mind seeing her naked either.
But the royal family is upset, and Americans are pelted nightly for a week with the broadcast news, both the national and entertainment variety, like we should all be outraged. Why is this stuff important?
Prince William should have released one statement that would have stopped all the coverage and probably the hounding paparazzi. It would read something like:
And what’s the deal with the American fascination with British royalty? We kicked King George’s ass over two hundred years ago. Some paparazzi takes a picture of Kate Middleton sunbathing topless and it takes up half of a nightly news broadcast.
All right. Prince William’s wife is a babe, and any teenage boy would drool over her as much as they once drooled over the old Farrah Fawcett posters. They'd hide the digital copies on a thumb drive so their moms won't find them, or print them out and stick them under their mattress with their copies of Penthouse and Playboy. And any red blooded American man wouldn’t mind seeing her naked either.
But the royal family is upset, and Americans are pelted nightly for a week with the broadcast news, both the national and entertainment variety, like we should all be outraged. Why is this stuff important?
Prince William should have released one statement that would have stopped all the coverage and probably the hounding paparazzi. It would read something like:
To the press. Okay you have some nude photos of my wife. Go ahead and publish them you perverted twits. Masturbate to them all you want. Know this though. I am married to that sweet hotness and you’re not. While you're wasting your sperm on pictures, I get to see her that way everyday, and I get to get up in all that hotness whenever I want. And you don’t, suckers. It’s good to be the King.
No comments:
Post a Comment