The walk

For the past five years I have participated in the Milwaukee Out of the Darkness Community walk to help raise funds for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  It started when my daughter walked in the first Out of the Darkness Overnight in Washington D.C.  Eventually she started the community walk and has been running it every since.

In that five years, she has asked my to say something, and this year is no different.  It has become something for me to do to contribute besides trying to raise funds.

This is this year's talk.

I am here because of Brenton who drove his car at 80 mph into a dumpster filled with roofing material.  He was 17.  One of the notes he left behind was to his best friend, my son.  My son still sees the sunrise every October on the anniversary of his death.

I am here because of Michael, who stepped in front of a moving freight train.  He left a note on the kitchen table that my own brother found.  All it said was “I’m sorry.  He was 23.  My brother still misses his son.  My children miss their cousin.  I still miss my nephew.

I am here because of Kaia, who after school one evening hung herself in her bedroom.  She was fifteen and always sat in the front row of my writing class.  Though I am retired from teaching now,  I still wonder if there was something I missed, something I should have seen.

I am here because of my daughter, Jessica.  Five years ago she started this community walk in Milwaukee.  Some of you have been in every one of the walks,  some of you are here for the first time.   We are all here for the same reason, the same sense of loss and grief.

Whether you are here by yourself or part of a team, you are not here alone.  Whether you raised 10 dollars or a 1000 dollars, you are not here alone.    We.  We are not here alone.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote to the grammy winning singer Judy Collins.  She lost her son to suicide.  She wrote back, my heart is with you in these efforts-- I send my spirit to you all, my loss has made me aware and supportive of bringing understanding and healing to those who suffer the urges and the losses.

NO!  We are not here alone.

In August of this year, President Obama signed an executive order directing the Veterans Administration to hire 1,600 new mental health professionals and 800 new peer support counselors, along with expanding the capacity of its crisis line to ensure that veterans in need can meet with a counselor within 24 hours. 

And Camp Pendleton because of such efforts was the first army base to report a significant decrease in suicides and suicide attempt this year.

More schools are starting prevention programs.  Cities have more hotlines.   The funds we raise to day help doing more of those things. 

No.  We are not alone in this struggle.  Our grandparents, spouses, relatives and friends are with us.  Our veterans are with us.  We have all lost someone, but we are definitely not alone in this.

Let me finish with a verse from another singer, Kitty Donaho.

There are no words

There is no song

There is no balm that can heal these wounds that will last a life time long

But when the stars turn into dust

Hand is hand we still will stand because we must.

You are not alone.  We are not alone.  We can and will do this, together.

Thanks to many friends and relatives, I was able to reach my original goal of $250, and in fact almost doubled it. The goodness of people never ceases to amazes me in life.

If you wish to contribute to this year's fundraising for AFSP, you can still do so through the end of the year. It is tax deductible.

You might also want to check out other community walks around the country that will take place through the remainder of the year. Several events are already schedule for next year, too.

More words for graduates

The day before the Wisconsin recall election I wrote some words for graduates, and I thought that was what I wanted to say.  Then events of the last couple of days led me to some more words.  And no, the results of the election have little, if anything, to do with these thoughts.

Some of you will be rich, some will struggle to just get by.  Some of you will get married, some several times.  Some of you will live long, some not so long.  That's just the way it is.  

You will meet far more people as you go off to your lives.  Remember that we are all in this thing we call life together.  When somebody needs help, help them.  And don't wait for them to ask.  Reach down and grab their and pull them up, drag them along with you until you are both walking tall and proud.

Young ladies, don't do anything that is going to end you up in a Girls Gone Wild video.  You can all be strong and independent.  And, if you have the same skills and talents as a man and are doing the same job as them, don't let anybody ever tell you that you aren't worth every penny that they get.

Young men, you are going to be the minority in the work force.  Deal with it.  If you are fortunate enough to meet and marry the woman of your dreams, treat her right.  

As historic the Wisconsin recall supposedly was, something more historic occurred just as the voting wound down and the polls closed.  Venus was in transit.  Briefly, this is when Venus passes between the Earth and the Sun.  What makes it historic is that it won't happen again for 105 years, unlike elections.  Historic is that you have the right to vote.  Do so, but don't ever be surprised that elections don't change much.  

Sometime during the evening of June 5, Ray Bradbury died. Some of you may have read Fahrenheit 451.  He was my favorite author who did all the right authority things.  He said, about writing, but really it applies to all your life as well, "You've got to jump off cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down."

Jump off a few cliffs in your lives.  Take risks.  Build some wings.

Congratulations Class of 2012.  

Be careful out there, and bring your towels.